The Thing I Never Thought I'd Love

Every morning at 7:40am, I crack my eyes open to the early darkness of my single room, plunge down from my lofted bed, and unsteadily march towards campus.

I don't have a class. I'm not really a morning person. But I arrive at school at 8am and make my way down to the Barnard athletics department, still somewhat groggy, to plunge myself into the water and swim laps for half an hour to start the day.

Your question is probably "why?" It doesn't seem very appealing - to dunk yourself in cold water and exercise straight away in the morning. But since I have started working to save the Barnard pool from being closed this year, I've gotten more and more attached to that space. Attached enough to beat back my morning sleepiness and start swimming there every day that the pool is open, at the only time that I'm available to before all the hustle and bustle of the day.

On Location: Active Minds Conference & Feminist Zine Fest

This weekend, I will be all over the place.

First, I am going to the Active Minds conference to present my preliminary research on Asian American women in college and their attitudes towards mental health and counseling. The conference is going to be in DC, so I'll be getting up very early and coming back very late from said journey, but it will be a great experience. A full recap (and brief on my research) will come next week!

Then Saturday, I will be tabling with the Barnard Zine Library at the Feminist Zine Fest in Brooklyn! Come say hi and get a zine from me, if you so desire (and are in the NYC area).

Anyway, on that note, regular blogging will resume Monday, when all these things are through. Enjoy your weekend!

Book Review - Click: Moments When We Knew We Were Feminists

As part of my Well Women duties for next year, I am duty-bound to read a book from our library - you can imagine how giddy I was to receive this assignment. It's like summer reading, but revamped to suit my feminist and inspirational needs. In keeping with these themes, the first of two books that I chose to read was Click: Moments When We Knew We Were Feminists, which is edited by Courtney Martin (of Barnard and Feministing) and J. Sullivan.

Caught My Eye: Reading Women

Alright, I know that I said that regular posting would resume Friday, but I didn't account for one major thing: sleep. Upon arriving home, I attempted to stay awake, but instead collapsed into an earth-shattering slumber, not to be awoken unless food was available. So, this post that was supposed to be put up Friday is actually coming to you today. My apologies for the delay!

Contrary to popular belief, finals time for me is great for doing all the things I miss out on during the rest of our very busy school year. So, when reading week began and I realized that I actually didn't have anything I needed to catch up on, I dove into this book that had been waiting on my shelf for quite some time: Reading Women by Stephanie Staal.

Barnard Prospective Experience

This weekend, I attended a long set of prospective student functions and hosted two "prospies" last night (hence the lack of musical interlude this Sunday). I must admit, a fair bit of nostalgia and thought did occur. So, I offer you my criticism.

P.S.
Sorry general readers, this post is pretty specific to the Barnard/Columbia experience - check out last week's and the rest of this week's posts for something less school-focused!

Project x Project: Balancing Act

This is just a short post that's going to roll in under the radar - I've been trying to furiously catch up on word count today, so I've written 3000+ words and have come up to 25,150. I need to be at 30,006 by tomorrow at midnight, so between then and now I have to write about 5000 words to catch up. Never fear though! I think I can do it, and do it well.
But, I wanted to talk about how it is to balance a really busy personal life with a really busy professional/academic life because I have to do that pretty much every day of my Barnard life.
I think that strategizing is always really important if you want to undertake something outside of your prescribed work that isn't considered a "leisure activity." For me, writing and blogging is slowly becoming part of my personal "work," just like making arts and crafts is both for love and profit. So, some strategies that I try to employ (albeit, not always consistently) will follow below:

1. Know your busy days and give yourself a break during those
I know that for me, Thursday is my longest day (9am to 9pm!), so I try to do any homework I have before or after that day so that I can just chill in the middle

2. Make time that is solely for your personal project(s), make time that is solely for your professional/academic project(s), and make time just for goofing off!
When you want to be a successful Barnard woman, or a successful person anywhere, it can sometimes feel like you have no time for anything else. You are consumed by work. But I think that making a specific time for things like hanging around on your bed, picking out your morning clothes, or just doing simple relaxing things are not just fun, but they're necessary to keeping you sane.

3. Don't stick with an activity that you hate
Just because you're involved with it doesn't mean that you have to stay. Sure, it's hard to quit something, but the assessment question is always: will it make me more happy to replace this with something else? That something else could be free time OR another project - that is up to you.

4. Prioritization is key
I've said it before and I've said it again: lists, prioritized lists especially, are the way to force yourself to achieve in any situation.

5. Put yourself in "dangerous" situations sometimes
Risk taking is something that is super important when you are doing any sort of project. On a personal level, my risk-taking involves making friendships that are concrete and lasting here. That is hard for me to do because I'm afraid of being hurt sometimes. But how else can you reach out in that situation? For whatever goal you're working on, take small risks that lead to bigger ones, and make sure that everything you do feels right.

6. Finally, and most importantly, it's OK to fail!!
Failure is part of the process too. Do you think that my NaNo novel is going to come out with a glowing halo on it? No way! It's going to be a steaming pile of something you don't want to get on your shoe, but if I really want it to shine, I'll work on it till the bitter end, and if I don't, I'll chalk it up to failure and move on. I think that the most important thing about failure is letting it happen, letting it wash over you, and then letting yourself be free of those complex emotions surrounding it.

That's it for tonight! Maybe I'll come up with more tips later on, but for now, I'm going to sleep!

If you liked this post, you may also be interested in some other lessons I've learned, including 3 Ways I Beat Writer's Block to a Pulp.

Nerd Girl Inc: On a Lighter Note

Ode to Food at A Fancy Restaurant: A Detailed Account of My Dinner
 Bread selection, bread selection, hit the spot just right -
Tomato basil's bright but ciabatta wins the night.
Merry merry start with the ravioli tart, with some sweet cranberry, no pancetta if you please -
Middle, hit the middle, with a tender tender loin,
Mashed potatoes - called puree - with some great and goat-y cheese,
Corn adorns the plate, stewing merrily beside,
A wave of jus, the finest beef, skipping pig with this tide.
Ending off, ending off, oh how I wish it'd never end -
Mango passion in a shot glass leaves impression for the guest,
But sink your teeth into the chocolate and you'll surely be impressed,
By the souffle - light and fluffy - hissing steamy with the cream,
Earl Grey chilled and poured in heavy stream.
Then we're sitting - what is next? - and waiting for some news -
Lo, behold, what about the caramel chews?
I am blushing, truly glowing, with this lovely lovely meal,
What better portions could there be? What surprises they conceal,
And then, as we are leaving, the madeleines just seal the deal.

Today is one of my longest days yet, so this post is coming to you in the margins of my free time. I got up today at 5:40am to go to English sign-ups - Barnard's method of weeding out the meek from the strong in getting their beloved English classes - and now have a full day of work, class, meetings, and Well Woman ahead. Hopefully I won't fall asleep in the middle of it.

If you liked this post, read my writing in strange places reviews.
You may also enjoy reading Why Eating Can Make Me Depressed, or perhaps some more poetry.

Snow Day!

This was the first blizzard of the year and Barnard didn't close until the afternoon. When everything else was closed early in the morning. Ugh! But once they did close, I was thankful because I got to get all my work done and now I am no longer panicking as I am wont to do.
It was really beautiful, the outdoors today. I woke up in a lethargy and went to work in the mail room where there was - consequently - no mail! The mailmen don't work according to their credo (through hail or sleet or driving snow, etc) anymore... it was snowing and their doors were firmly shut.
You know, there is something peculiar to me or maybe to college. I get overwhelmed and burnt out sometimes, while still enjoying what I'm working on. Maybe that's the good thing about reading challenging books and exciting novels - at the same time, there is a lot of reading to be done! I know that I've said it before, but whenever I feel backed up, I start to get worried (even, sometimes, when I'm right on track!) I just can't imagine putting things off for very long...
Anyway, that's what got me to scheduling. Every time I get overwhelmed, I make a schedule and a to-do list. Therefore, I now have a plan!

Enough of those idle simple thoughts. Now on to the good stuff.
I have been contemplating, through my lists, how to go about getting a summer internship. I wasn't thinking about it a lot before, but then I had this dream. This dream that I was in a video game that I designed (yes, I know that sounds lame, but hang in there with me). The dream made me realize that there are people who aren't programmers working on video games. Why I did not realize this before, I do not know. But it just so happens that by digging around the internet, there are A LOT of indie game studios in Seattle. And that's where I'll be for summer. So if I can land an internship there, I can start looking into how to contract write the storylines for video games. How cool is that?!
And after that, I started to think big. Plans leading to more plans and more and more again, I guess. I started thinking about where I want to do my study abroad. I have always wanted to use my French skills, but I just thought I would end up in France. But with their new laws concerning the burqa, I have been none too happy with the country's conduct. So I started thinking of other francophone countries and up comes... Morocco! Yes, and we do have a program that is related to Morocco. So, therefore, my plans for junior year are going to be involved with trying to go to that North African country for a duration of time. Huzzah! Life plans!
So, those are the two big notions I have been thinking about lately. Aside from that, there is short story and biography writing to do, papers to be written, books to be read, clothes to be worn and shed... all of these works that coalesce into my fabulous life.

Enjoy the beautiful snow everyone, and an early Happy Valentine's Day too!

Oh, how things change. Read more about my ever-changing college experiences.

The Tired Artist

This peacock's name is Phil.

As of today, I have returned to the fold of college students. With classes and books and other nonsensical ideas such as program filing for next semester (although the website is mysteriously lacking in functional ways to do this). Overall, the last two weeks have gone by with a blur of intensity that just left me unable to write for days!
But now, alas, it is NaNoWriMo and I have to remedy my lethargic writer's state with 1667 words per day [I started two days late, so I have to catch up, but hey, it happens]. For now, I am taking a procrastination break to record down past events for tangible reincarnation.

Last Saturday marked my 18th birthday, so I am now technically a legal adult. With no job and a hefty sum of debt. I can see how our economy has tanked so badly; we imbue even our youngest adults with this overwhelming sense of lack. But, aside from that, everything went fantastically! I partied it up with my friends, got a Halloween costume (a week early, obviously) and ate cookie cake with whipped cream until sickness set in. It was a memorable evening.
When we got back, four girls conked out on my floor, reminding me of the days when the Sixth Floor Legends were all plopped into one room, struggling for space on a thin slice of floor... ah, the good old times. I can't believe I did work after that - we had school for an entire week and I can't seem to remember any part of it except talking to people about wanting to go dancing again. And having random intimate conversations in the middle of the night (isn't that what college is all about?)

Preparation for the weekend was an exercise in separation anxiety; I hadn't realized how much Barnard felt like home until my dad showed up on Thursday and started marveling about how I now live on my own... similarly, when we finally packed up our bags and headed out to New Jersey, it was a strange feeling to be leaving campus for a longer period of time. I guess the converse wasn't any better - Molli tells me that staying on campus was pretty dull (as expected with everyone flocking to their corners of the earth), but the feeling still remained.
When we did leave the city, I was immersed in Bangla. Culture, food, everything. People in our culture often don't mind if you "crash a party" (as my dad would say), so we ended up at a commemoration for a man who had died two years previous through friend-of-a-friend contacts. Many people were there, not only to pray but to enjoy great food (goat!) and chat with their colleagues. Sometimes my thoughts fly away with me on these trips, however, so I started asking my dad awkward questions about what he would want us to do when he died. He waved me away, told me to eat some more goat curry, and yet the thought still remains in my head. It shows me, somewhat, that I don't know much about Bangla culture. I feel now that I need to learn before I speak again.
As we piled into the car with Moushir and his family, I began getting the third degree about not calling in two months... this is another Bengali context, of course (we always want to be in communication). There's no escaping the guilt of not feeding back to your community; you lack the words other than "I was busy" and that just makes you sound like a snob. Hmm...
However, each time we head over to my dad's friends, we are treated exceptionally well. My first trip to Philly was the next day with Ashraf and his family. We saw the Liberty Bell and some historic sights, ate Philly cheese steak, and [most importantly] Da and his friends talked about the past.
I have, since last year, thought about writing a biography of my dad. His misadventures, even if never published, make up an amazing story that I would like to preserve. Why not, right? But now I see that others in our community have similarly interesting stories. So, though I will start small with my dad, I think I will progress to write on their stories as well. Time will tell me how that goes on - especially with NaNo right now - but I think it would be an amazing compilation of a different type of immigrant story. We'll see.
The point is, while my dad was here, I realized yet again that there are so many interesting things that your parents just don't discuss with you. Entire generations pass on without their histories recorded. On the train back to New York, my dad and I started talking about life and death again (because, as he said, Bengalis are always "solving world issues" - through talking endlessly about them) and, although I hope that my father has another 40 years under his belt (Insh'Allah), it is pertinent to be uncovering bit by bit what hasn't been learned yet.

So, my weeks were somewhat philosophical and somewhat racy, but positive and negative equaled out in a sense. I am never ordering clams again without asking about cookedness [they served them raw] and I am no longer going to eat that much candy corn [guh]. Those were parts of my young self doing it's thing. But I am going to "listen to my elders" as every text would say and know now that living on my own in New York City is where I need to be right now. Is that my old self? Well, it's coming along.

Check out some more posts featuring my photography.

Ready To Find...

...people who really believe and love themselves.
I think that I've found a lot of amazing people and I wouldn't give them up for the world. And I get to see them, and I get to talk to them, and I get to know them, and it is awesome. But there are also the people I just crowd my life with because they are there and conveniently live in proximity.
It's not like I hate these people, and it's always fun to just have casual hangouts - I just feel like I should be living with people who really can carry on my conversations and won't be embarrassed of me/degrade me for having some strangeness.
I am so excited for my future. I got into Barnard. ^_^
I'm soooo ecstatic that it's almost numbing to think about - New York City, color, light, my friends, my college! I feel crazy and renewed and happy and a little scared and Just. So. Ready.
And it's just great because this renews my energy after a pretty defeated last few weeks. I am feeling great and ready to do scholarships, and make the most of winter break, and finish my IB Diploma, and keep going and going. It's about 5.5 months until we graduate and that's when the real fireworks come in! I can't even believe I can say those words - it's like I'm tasting the city right this second.
We had a fake snow day today and an art showing [featuring Ka-chan] yesterday and I just got to appreciating all the amazing people in my life. And yet of course there comes the idea of school crashing down on our heads again - as it inevitably will. At least I can gaze outward and say '4 more days in school before break' and then it will be true. I am worn out. And I will write more letters, I promise.
Next year is on the horizon and I hope that I can find some more of me before I go to college. Teach myself some new things, find that beautiful self that needs no man and no woman to support it - just love, breath, sweat and God. I am so ready for the future: here it comes now!

Want to know what happened when I got there? Check out these posts from my life at Barnard and in NYC.

Nananana Nananana HeyHeyHey Goodbye...

Wow. It's getting really difficult to stay calm.
We have just waved off three of 'the Clan' (with a 'C' as Ariel specified) and now it's just Nina and I left. She's leaving tomorrow morning and I'm leaving tonight at 6pm. There is something strange about this fact.
I remember Da telling me once [probably after the reunion] that there is no greater bond than one where you live with people. Though we've been living together for only four weeks, it is really hard to say goodbye. Amy was crying, Stephen singing, and Julie... she was just herself.
I wish I had something else to talk about, and I probably do, but all I can think about is the awesome times that we've had here and that I really don't want to leave - although I guess there's no point in holing up in an empty room filled with stripped mattresses and suitcases. I gotta think these things through sometimes.
*mental montage time*
Something that I've really realized though... today seems to be like saying goodbye to my closest friends in a one day period. I have had really great friends over the years who have left me [Heathy, Chels, Ka-chan, Kita...] and kept in touch, but there's always a span of time between leaving them. So now, on this huge day of saying goodbyes, I guess it's like recapping all of that. Hopefully with a stronger foundation.
I sound like a sappy girly teenager. And that's all I want to be.

Read more posts about my awesome Barnard pre-college experience.
You may also be interested in reading posts about when I started attending college at Barnard.

Loser

It's almost unfair.
I feel like my time here was full of awesomeness, a great group of new friends and artists, people who really understand me (and if they don't, it didn't matter because we got along anyway). Now so many people are talking about leaving and it is very depressing. So I just had to write one paragraph pertaining to how strange it will be not living with these girls [because now basically everyone but Stephen lives in our one room] and how horrid it will be to take classes in subjects that are unappealing, uninteresting.
That paragraph out of the way, I would much rather talk about our last few weeks here. We did soooo much stuff in the last week that it makes only sense to put it in bullet list form. And so, I go.

- Mister Softee frozen yogurt stands [and not the fake-y fruity 'fro-yo' but the REAL stuff]
- Getting lost and finding a Pokemon convention where the flea market was supposed to be
- Switching trains and stopping at Union Square where local people hawk their wares amongst huge department stores/boutiques
- Visiting a heavy metal paper store with long curly bearded men serving up delicate and elegant sheets from around the world
- Meeting many synaesthetic people [many]
- Times Square and the afternoon cluster, feet screaming out for rest, blacked from the dirt and earth below
- Halal and otherwise awesome hot dog stands
- Visiting The Strand and getting lost [ready to die] amongst the thousands upon thousands of volumes and volumes and volumes...
- Julie losing her wallet either to a mistake or pickpockets [I don't trust those people selling at the stand...]
- Walking around NY alone, hovering over the packages purchased on subways from afar
- Working on zines [yes! we learned how to make mini books in our fiction class! whoo final projects!] in a group of artistic/artistically challenged children
- Collage that didn't know what it was going to be until it became politicized and that was that
- The New Yorker expanding and retracting its Obama satire [conversely, Obama '08 pins for sale]
- Discussing religion in the wee hours of the morning
- More lessons [and games] on sex and drugs
- Gathering for a food-based poker night! [first time playing poker, whee!]
- Crazy sugar high Oreo bonanza that was done in 20 minutes - it's all over but the crying

And that's all I have to say for now [I know, you're cringing]. It gives me a hell of a lot of material for later though.

Read more posts about my awesome Barnard pre-college experience.
You may also be interested in reading about my life in NYC. 

I Love You

Heathy, you probably won't read this [until I tell you to on Facebook], but I love you. You made my day with your post about love and so I wanted to return the favor with a tribute post.
I really want to be a little more free. And that's sort of what I've been doing here - becoming more independent and free. Getting lost in the heat and squalor, the New York sunsets and the Globesonic dance music... Dancing till the break of dawn, laughing loudly and talking about awkward subjects, going to Dark Knight premieres and living with girls who are carefree and beautiful. I'm totally making it sound glorious, but it seems a lot like normalcy now. Like it's part of our lives. And I really don't want to leave.
I love this life. The ability to pick and choose and feel beautiful about myself in some reasonable manners. It tests me to be brave and also interesting. It makes my not-so-colorful life turn into something reasonably awesome.
So, I love you Heathy. I can't wait to see you because then I can share my adventures and love of life with you. I want to get to know myself and get out of senior year.
This is a short post, but at least I now have an inkling of consciousness to improve myself next year. [I sound so... transic. But it's not really that]

Read more posts about my awesome Barnard pre-college experience.
You may also be interested in reading more posts about my life in NYC.

Songs On Repeat

This place has gotten so comfortable that I'm playing music over and over again in my head and singing it out loud at random intervals. I think I've become slightly creepy.
I know that I always take the time to tout the merits of being here, but I've just realized that there is always something to do here - and to a person who has to be chronically busy, that's a good thing.
Anyway, enough about the merits of Barnard, I am going to write a series of Snapshots of New York in order to profess my happenings here in easily digestible bites. Yeah, that's my inner newscaster.
1. My all-time favorite. We were buying dresses at a local stand and there was a Muslim black woman speaking with a black man; she was outfitted in traditional garb but her voice was definitely characteristic of the American black person. They were discussing women's rights - peacefully! I always hear things about conflict between people: Christians don't understand Muslims, they are automatically targeting each other's faults, making everything seem horrible when it's just different... But they were just talking about how people don't understand that women choose to be under the hijab and that there is respect, not oppression, in that culture. It just made me smile and feel as if there is hope for the world.
2. When we were lost in Harlem (or Washington Heights - we got on a train and went uptown and I don't know from there) it was very scary and there were mobs of shady people and trash [a real 'experience' from a suburban girl who hasn't really met the inner-city (thank God for brown skin!)] However, amidst it all, as Amy and I were walking down we overheard a conversation with a guy and his daughter. He was telling her a story about autistic children and how they have problems; the girl was very small, and so she asked questions. He said that there were people in the world who just didn't give up on them and they improved: his last line was "Don't ever give up on anybody."
3. Walking around Time Square, there are throngs of people. Hawkers selling things on the street, vendors selling halal hot dogs and other tidbits for reasonable prices, Indian-run souvenir shops with long lines of tourists. I think that the bright lights get to you sometimes; you watch up and not down and that's where you get your purse stolen. But I think that the nightlife is what really appeals to me - a short subway ride away there is an all-night party and no one can stop it.
4. These same subway rides, every once in a while, produce something else entirely. From the most innocuous (such as a man singing gospel songs in order to gain a little spare cash) to the most saddening (a one-eyed beggar who could barely speak asking for donations), it is always a different ride. There were kids selling candy for a dollar each so that they could get some money; there were pierced people and cut people just laughing along as they rode downtown... Our friend even got trapped outside the train as we laughed and waited for him at the next stop. It really is a 'snapshot' to take any subway train.

Now that I've gone on way too long, I just wanted to note that there is something different everywhere you turn. No matter where you're going or what you're doing, it's the experience that you're living for - and there's an experience every minute.
We are going to jam-pack our last two weeks here.

Read more posts about my awesome Barnard pre-college experience.
You may also be interested in reading about what happened when I started attending Barnard for college. 

Taking A Moment...

I am going to take a moment to appreciate diversity among people at length [not just in the racial sense, but from what I've seen just living here].

I have met...
- A dark skinned Guiana girl who is of Indian descent with the last name 'Singh' (indicating Sikh) who is really Hindu but her family has a lot of inter-religious marriages and she is by far an American teenager living on Long Island and basically taking in the life that a lot of people have - suburban next to a city.
- A Taiwanese/German girl with no residency in China; thus, she hops from German soil to China in a 2, then 5 year movement - who speaks a few languages and is enrolled in an American style school in China and voices her opinions about life much more than the average young Chinese girl.
- A New Mexican (yes, a Hispanic race from that area when it belonged to Mexico) who appears very white but whose family speaks mostly Spanish and lives a life of accidents and interest in a land full of gangsters and farmers.
- A white boy from California who is conservative and sheltered, yet likes to write of worlds he has never seen (and probably will never see). A straight-laced Christian kid with a gate on his community who just cannot pick up the references.
- Myself.

Those are the five [yes, I include myself] people that I hang out with the most here. They all have distinct personalities and are wonderful to hang out with - we just clicked automatically and sometimes I hope that college works like this all the time. But we'll see later.

Read more posts about my awesome Barnard pre-college experience.
You may also be interested to read about what happened when I started college at Barnard. 

Somehow, Someway

I know.
Sometimes it's completely wonderful to spend a weekend away from yourself. Away from all the little opinion pieces floating around in your head, narrating your life as if you were some sort of child and needed to be directed at every turn. Eat this, don't touch that, be careful! Things aren't so much different when you're on your own and trying to make it.
So sometimes, even though it's not really advisable, there's a period of time when I don't really care about the tiny so-not-gonna-happen crushes, the crusades towards victory over psychology homework and scholarship work. I let it all go.
Now, don't believe I go all crazy and start jumping into fires or something stupid like that. I'm a "party girl" without the booze or the cheap thrills. I like staying up late at night and talking to my roommate about things that will never happen to me. Sharing stories that aren't really mine - they just bounce around in my head and I put them to paper (kind of like I am now). Somewhere, in the world of fiction, a girl who is the complete opposite of me can run free and take over me. Mind, body and soul.
Dia hasn't come back for a while, she hasn't littered my texts with her boy-crazy, overly-hot insanity, but she is always lurking there. At the edge of my mind where people wouldn't expect a girl like me to reside. The brink where people often jump off. The clouded forest. The silent grey trees.
Here is where I stand today: a more serious vacation than I'd planned, taking time from the world of letters making up my worth and people telling me that I'm not really there. I have to learn to be original, and sometimes... that just won't work out. And so here, where I'm forced to be whoever I need to be, I have chosen.
I like myself enough to keep things rolling. And, so it seems, other people do too.
P.S. I'm revising my thoughts on fiction classes; if they're done right, they're fantastic.

The Fourth

The Fourth of July is not really my favorite holiday. Mainly because we don't do much in our house to celebrate that type of thing. But this Fourth of July is even worse.
My debit card expired about a month ago (and apparently the new card came in but NO ONE TOLD ME). So now I have to hope and pray that it's going to come in with FedEx tomorrow so that I don't die [no meal plans on Sat. or Sun.]
New York is awesome. Being cashless is not.

Read more posts about my awesome Barnard pre-college experience.
You may also be interested in reading about what happened when I started attending Barnard for college. 

Pride

I have printed my first assignment, gone on my first excursion, attended my first production meeting, and done my first load of laundry at Barnard College! [mostly in one day]
I don't know why, but these little milestones like moving in and sleeping my first night with a roommate and working out in the Columbia fitness center just make me feel great. The little things make independence seem so alluring [though I probably won't be singing that tune when I've done this for more than a few weeks...]
Even just the fact that I am able to go wherever I want without anyone is wonderful. I am working now on a few photography projects for the Barnard Bulletin and I am ready to just explore the city without restraint. The excursion to Spamalot yesterday was extremely funny, but viewing the New York night life was the truly amazing part. The fact that there are so many different people makes you feel a lot of different ways - sometimes dangerous, sometimes included, sometimes lonely... I think that breaking the monotony of my summers is a trend that I really could get into.
On a side note, the Columbia campus is beautiful. Barnard is a wonderful place to live, but right now they ripped out their courtyard and are doing some crazy construction (which will be finished by the time I graduate and [hopefully] arrive here) so they are less glamorous than I saw last summer. Columbia, on the other hand, is a sprawling piece of green in the tall and cramped city (ex. the two-inch wide hallways of the supermarket). I have not yet been to the parks, such as Central and Bryant, but for now Columbia is my oasis of grandeur.
Anyway.
As you may have already noticed, I'm having a fantastic time here. Despite all the little challenges of being a 'freshman' [ex. not knowing where to buy a laundry card and having to run around worrying about the load of clothes you left in the machine...] there is so much reward in getting to be here.
Also, if I do become a freshman here, I will take those lessons wisely.

Read more posts about my awesome Barnard pre-college experience.
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Barnard: The Early Days

Ta da! I am still alive after a trip to New York (a shockingly smooth and timely flight o_o) and now I'm rockin' away at my dorm in Barnard [Sulzberger Hall].
Strangely, it was a pretty easy transition. Ruby's house was cozy (and cold because we were in the basement) even though the outside was humid and - at times - oppressive. However, other than the gigantic headache that I got from dehydration after the flight, everything has been pretty swell. New York is still beautifully grungy, and there is still an air of grandeur around Barnard that I just can't shake (even though now I've been around a bit and the awe has slowly faded, it's become sort of a comfy second home). Da has been palling around with Ghosh the entire time, so it seems that they are having fun (a big reconnection after all these years).
After getting to NY, everything became just a little BIGGER. In comparison, we don't have extremely huge shopping lists for the drugstore [obviously, not at home], nor huge Indian breakfasts, nor gigantic seafood dinners [go Sammy's!]. After being here, it seems that the way we live in Seattle is very frugal and very small (and here I thought we were living large, ha!).
For now, however, the scene is much different. My roommate has a big personality [although she's from New Mexico - the ghetto nonetheless], there is 200+ people here, the room is bigger than I expected... and the adjustment was surprisingly small.
Our classes started today, and its been the first time that I've really been away from Da since we got here [and during a semi-school year, for that matter] (although he did show up to drop off my charger this afternoon... I love parenthesis!). I have to write a 7-10 page paper for psychology [which is perfect for my Extended Essay] and then there is a free-form style writing class with a culminating zine which actually seems pretty cool, but we just have to work on it.
Other than that, I've slowly been meeting people (after kicking out calc kids from our room this morning, there was a little bit of a bond going around) and starting to go out on the town. We have a pretty piece of freedom here (sign in/out but whatever) and we also have some fun organized things called "excursions" [lame name] and so our time is either full or pleasantly plump so that we can meander and do things. I'll probably start working out either tomorrow or the next day, and I started (barely) Gulliver's Travels along with the million other books I have to read. Well, now it's off to a little planning and some other fun stuff.
I feel like a college student sometimes. Trippy...

Read more posts about my awesome Barnard pre-college experience.
Also, you may be interested to read about what happened when I began going to college at Barnard.

What A Difference A Day [Or Two] Makes

Well, today we are leaving for New York and Barnard pre-college is on the ample horizon. After having a fresh bout of apathy, I'm hoping this trip jogs me into finishing all the million-and-one things I have to do.

Goals For The Next Two Months:
- Research and finish big scholarship entries
- Davidson Fellows
- Young Epidemiologist Scholars
- Research and draft Extended Essay
- Have a thrilling pre-college time in NY
- Knit through most (if not all) six Cascade 220 yarn balls
- Design a sweater
- Workout/keep up with health goals
- Explode
- Reanimate after said explosion
- TAKE OVER THE WORLD

So, if I get through the entire list, then we will have a new [and trim] world leader, a bunch of written material and research papers, many elegantly knitted squares, a new cult fashion, and a few scraps of loose yarn.
I think I'll enjoy it.

 Read more about my awesome Barnard pre-college experience.
You may also be interested to read what happened when I started going to college at Barnard.