Ready To Find...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

...people who really believe and love themselves.
I think that I've found a lot of amazing people and I wouldn't give them up for the world. And I get to see them, and I get to talk to them, and I get to know them, and it is awesome. But there are also the people I just crowd my life with because they are there and conveniently live in proximity.
It's not like I hate these people, and it's always fun to just have casual hangouts - I just feel like I should be living with people who really can carry on my conversations and won't be embarrassed of me/degrade me for having some strangeness.
I am so excited for my future. I got into Barnard. ^_^
I'm soooo ecstatic that it's almost numbing to think about - New York City, color, light, my friends, my college! I feel crazy and renewed and happy and a little scared and Just. So. Ready.
And it's just great because this renews my energy after a pretty defeated last few weeks. I am feeling great and ready to do scholarships, and make the most of winter break, and finish my IB Diploma, and keep going and going. It's about 5.5 months until we graduate and that's when the real fireworks come in! I can't even believe I can say those words - it's like I'm tasting the city right this second.
We had a fake snow day today and an art showing [featuring Ka-chan] yesterday and I just got to appreciating all the amazing people in my life. And yet of course there comes the idea of school crashing down on our heads again - as it inevitably will. At least I can gaze outward and say '4 more days in school before break' and then it will be true. I am worn out. And I will write more letters, I promise.
Next year is on the horizon and I hope that I can find some more of me before I go to college. Teach myself some new things, find that beautiful self that needs no man and no woman to support it - just love, breath, sweat and God. I am so ready for the future: here it comes now!

Want to know what happened when I got there? Check out these posts from my life at Barnard and in NYC.