Lingering Images from NYC and Boston

On the butter-yellow staircase at Poet’s House, I always take a moment to pause. The staircase leads on to a room I wish I had discovered earlier, with book nooks and wide tables overlooking the water. The building is in an unlikely spot down by Wall Street, and I got a chance to revisit only on my final day in NYC. At the tail end of two weeks of traveling, I was fried and needed somewhere to set down my overstuffed bags. There’s not much romance in NYC for me anymore, definitely not as much as when I left the Pacific Northwest 6 years ago. The energy tires me out rather than excites me. But the people who carve out space there still serve me a big helping of homesickness. I slept on their couches and took up their time, huffing through the grey labyrinth of city streets to meet for coffee, dinner, an event, or a stroll.

Snickerdoodles meant to be shaped like bears (from a cookie cutter courtesy of the Barnard Library!) ended up as balloons.

 
I got to Boston by pure luck. The bus manager let me get on the bus departing earlier and during the ride, by text message, I found out that my original bus broke down before leaving NYC. Boston is a place where folks I dearly love call home, and I regularly have to make a pilgrimage there. My clearest memories of my time spent there are very different than in bustling NYC. Rolling around on a black and white carpet well after programming hours, telling a close friend my abridged travel narrative. Making balloon bear cookies in my host’s well-equip kitchen (see photo above!).

You like to think you have some continuity in your decision-making, that it follows a thread which can be traced back. I think most of us make narratives of our experiences, not just the writers, and mine was that I left the Pacific Northwest – and this sounds bad – because it had little to offer me. I wanted to get far away so that I could find something “else out there,” and I don’t regret having done that. Even this return doesn’t feel prodigal. If I resonated with somewhere else, I would probably be living there. But what my younger self couldn’t see about Washington is now in view; I now feel like there are too many opportunities rather than too few. I am excited to put down roots and grow tall branches here. I am also excited to clear out old spaces and make a new home here. I’m just at the very beginning, but the path feels right.

Places to Leave

This week, I have a piece out in CultureStrike on transnational adoption. It’s a very personal piece and it took a lot of work to put together (thanks, Michelle!) so please give it a read. Now, back to the action.

A mala (floral necklace) made of red roses, orange and yellow accent flowers.

I’ve left a lot of places this month. Since I last wrote here, I’ve been living out of suitcases traveling to different family homes across Dhaka and across Bangladesh. New Year’s came and went. My father came and went. While he was here, we knit together his partner’s family and ours through a series of dinners and celebrations. Car ride after car ride after car ride – no wonder my stomach got upset and took me out of commission for a few days at the end!

It’s been a real honor to meet with so many new faces and travel to places I have not yet seen, but adjusting back to the quiet of everyday life has been its own delicious treat. I’ve been thinking (and reading) a lot about emotional labor and am working on a much larger piece chronicling some of those thoughts and feelings. But that’s all for later. For now, I leave you with some selected photos and images from my various trips.

My father (in a suit) and Raina (in a bright pink sari) seated and smiling with red and white malas.

Me and two friends laughing.

Meeting everyone in our Kushtia village - many people and children gathered around plastic chairs in our courtyard.

A bunch of mohish (water buffalo) on the shores of the Padma at Raita Ghat (a landing spot made by the British for boats to dock)

A kukur (dog) looking back at my camera as I take a picture of rice paddies in Noakhali.

Plants in red pots lined up against a wall at Noakhali Science and Technology University.

Two young children on stools looking deep in thought as they sit next to a pukur (pond) in Noakhali.

DC in Photographs

Armed with a cell phone camera and my wits about me this weekend, here are some of the sights I took in whilst making my way through DC. The President (this time of the United States) makes a guest appearance in these shots - though I do wish I had a better zoom on my camera to see him closer!

Tar sands protest when I first came into town.

Beautiful Malcolm X Park.

Statue of Jeanne d'Arc, in the correct French!

Ben's Chili Bowl, an awesome panda, and my friend Catskill.

The Supreme Court.

Washington's place in the WWII memorial.

Lincoln.

MLK.

The President boarding Marine 1 - he looks tiny, but mighty!

 

 

After our White House tour.

 

Miniature Bus reunion with Leah! 

The Relaxation Manifesto

Something that I have to remind myself of every day I take off: the meaning of relaxation is to not to think about its end.

This vacation has been about that principle in a lot of ways - staying in the present and enjoying the minutes, forgetting (or at least being ok with the idea that) you are skipping work in favor of having fun, mind melding with the random people you meet and not questioning it.
I must admit, this vacation has been a ride of emotions for me. I have felt at times thankful, lonely, annoyed, ludicrously happy, tired, regretful about work, reflective and truly sad. If this weekend was a microcosm for my life, then it did a pretty good job in representation.
As I sit down trying to finish NaNo and thinking about my priorities for tomorrow's work catch-up day, I wonder about why I am so focused on the past and the future. The feeling that I last posted about in The Real Thanksgiving is something that I wish I could commit to, but it has been the hardest struggle just to achieve it for a couple of hours. I am always thinking about the moment that it will pass or change.

Anyway, perhaps the solution is not to dwell on those subjects for the time being. Switching mindsets, here is a list of some of the truly amazing things I did in this short weekend:

1. Finished my alien color scarf (pictured above)
2. Met up with friends from Seattle who go to East Coast schools (and made a new friend out of one of their roommates!)
3. Explored Manhattan at night and walked for hours and hours on end
4. Followed the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade from 66th to 34th street on foot
5. Bought fancy fancy yarn for two upcoming projects (not telling what they are till they're finished!)
6. Ate Thanksgiving dinner twice: once alone at a great restaurant and the second time with fabulous friends from pre-college!
7. Made goat cheese mashed potatoes and pumpkin cream pie (so bomb!)
8. Walked the Brooklyn Bridge from end to end in the nighttime (by the way, whose idea was it to have see-through wooden slats on the Brooklyn Bridge walking path?)
9. Talked philosophy and other hardcore subjects late into the night with AU friend affectionately known as Catskill
10. Spent time eating excellent Bengali food with my friend in Queens

Thank you everyone who made this weekend special and great.

Want to see what else I've been knitting?

The Real Thanksgiving

My real Thanksgiving occurred the day after the "official" date. All the things that you'd want out of Thanksgiving - friends, great food, laughter, and all those things that are cliched and yet so important because we don't get them that often in our daily lives.
I slept in till 11:30am, which was the strangest feeling ever for a college student. I looked up the recipes and picked up the ingredients and put it all together with those amazing girls from PCP (the Barnard pre-college program - don't get gutter-minded). We hung out in Jules' great frat house and laughed about Nina being too Asian while making pumpkin cream pie without an oven. What is better than that?
And I was so happy that I didn't want it to end. And I still don't.
It makes me wonder why we can't have this kind of camaraderie any old time of the year. Are we so jaded by the fact that our work and individual lives are supposed to be all-important and all-encompassing that we cannot enjoy a simple meal together?
I know these are strange questions for someone who is supposed to be starting her independent adult life, but I think that we need our families and our friends more than even the most independent of us think. It's important, and we don't get enough relationship time. Especially in NYC, but just everywhere. This country is made for singletons, but there is something to be said for community.

Happy alterna-Thanksgiving. Let's work on having that every day of the year.

Great friends and great food are reoccurring instances in my life - check out some recipes and restaurant reviews and have a good time.

Nerd Girl Inc: Off Time

This is going to be a short one because I'm very tired. But, you know when you have those days where you just want to get out and do something? I had one of those days today.
Although I told myself that I would catch up on everything, I felt like that just wasn't motivating me today. So, instead I went out at 1pm, canceling everything, and hung out with some friends from the retreat. At first we thought we were going to go ice skating, but that fell through. Fortunately, we're good enough friends that hanging out and doing something else was just fine.
So, I won't go into all the details, but I think that the conclusion of this day was this: if you need to re-charge, get away, or rest, do it without any regrets.
We all need a break and some things can just wait.

While you're taking some down time with me, why not check out the Caught My Eye series for some great media to tune in to.

On Location: SOCLR Love (or, Day 3)

(my SOCLR graphic - click to actually read!)

I want to describe my SOCLR experience in a series of experiences, similar to the way I have previously described New York.

1. First day, waiting for the bus, lugging too much stuff, I am aided by a kind (and stronger) hand.
2. I almost cry on multiple occasions from day one to day three.
3. Fig leaf shed; real life coming.
4. Four words: rock, paper, scissors tournament.
5. Interesting insightful conversation even between programs - after an interview, before eating, on the bus...
6. Trippiest and most educational game ever: forks, spoons, knives.
7. Beware the Facebook profile.
8. Working on the intersectionality of identities and how that affects your leadership.
9. Following through on your goals.
10. I met some of the most fantastic people and I have never felt as safe at college than at this retreat.

Thank you so much everyone for the notes, for the support, for the greatness that is SOCLR. Leadership is a promise made in your heart and your head to your peers, and I believe that it comes from all good intentions. Our experiences at SOCLR really voiced our good will and good intentions, which I hope will blossom into greater leadership on campus and a safe community in which people can be as open as possible without fear.

Read the first two posts SOCLR Day 1 and SOCLR Day 2.

On Location: SOCLR Day 1

Today I am embarking on a restorative weekend. No cell phone reception, select internet, and a completely different location than my urban Manhattan lifestyle. (I know, quel horreur!)
So, for this weekend, I will probably be putting up posts that are more descriptive than analytical, but we'll see how it goes. Let's get on to the day:

- In the morning, I overpacked my bag with all the things a city girl thinks she'll need at a camp site and almost broke my shoulder hiking it up to Wallach...
- The group trickled in slowly but surely, pizza was served (breakfast of champions)
- We participated in some getting-to-know-you exercises - human bingo reminded me of fourth grade a little bit (for those of you who don't know, you have to find a person that matches the boxes in the room)
- We got on the bus and watched Kick Ass, an enthralling but HORRIBLE movie
- 3 hours, winding roads, deer, cows and some greenery later... we arrived at Frost Valley YMCA!
- It gets dark out here super fast, so we hiked up to our camp building, a great place named Quirk (haha)
- We had our "official opening" and shared some personal fig leaves (a.k.a. where our defenses lie)

Conclusion of the day? I think I'm going to like it here...

Read the follow-up posts SOCLR Day 2 and SOCLR Love.

Photographic Adventures: The Summer Broke Ope

These ones were total randomness - they come from every place and every day!

These were from Snoqualmie Falls - so beautiful...

Check out some more posts featuring my photography.

The Summer Broke Ope

So, it's been a crazy summer sojourn since I was last here - I have been out literally every day since school got out... it feels so strange that it was only two weeks ago, and yet every day has been so filled that it seems as if it were yesterday. Hmm.
I have put graduation itself into a Memoirian Highlight to incorporate the pictures (courtesy of Heathy!) and also one for Heathy's visit here - just so that each post isn't crazy long! Here are some other highlights though.

1. Finishing high school and meeting a cluster of bees outside my boyfriend's house the day we got out. Happy end of high school!
2. Picking up my family at the airport - Tiina, Uncle and Natalia have been here ever since the 18th.
3. Watching the pretty awesome Senior Highlights video at senior breakfast (and subsequently signing a silly number of yearbooks - everyone wanted a little piece before we all jumped off to the next lilypad; sadly, I don't think I put down very good yearbook entries, but just know that you will be remembered!)
4. Going to a bookmaking class: it was a 3 Saturday class and I made 3 pamphlet stitch books, 3 hardcover books (2 Coptic bound and 1 traditional hardcover book like you see in the bookstores). Since I found the awesome decorative paper that I bought during pre-college, it was great fun to actually use the stuff. I am totally going to get back into zines and bind a lot of stuff now - it's great fun! Also, I discovered that Seattlites hate Bellevue (something I already knew, but didn't intuit until we started talking about the jail and protesting, Gay Pride and other such things; it was pretty awesome to hear all the intriguing stories though - like crack being sold from an ice cream truck and traipsing about the best art supplies places in the area)
5. Picking up Heathy at the airport to complete our full set of house mayhem [7 people living in a house that usually houses 3 - fortunately, it's big enough that it wasn't too much of a burden, just "interesting" to have all those personalities conflicting in places like the shower and the kitchen...]
6. Meeting up with all of my good friends at Olive Garden for an explosive night of debauchery - Chels, Ka-chan, Heathy, Kita, Josh, Amanda, Natalia, and I sitting around a table laughing it up and then heading over to Sophia's house for a post-meal cooldown. The odd part of the evening was getting there and waiting for a table; we took two cars since there were so many of us (and Josh was jumping out of his seat to avoid my dad's glare...) and then there was an hour long wait, so we went to get fresh ice cream at the creamery nearby [so good - yet I did gain 1.8 pounds that week; I'm at 131 right now though, so it didn't dent me too much]. But once we were in, the food was good and filling and we all were compatible enough to not kill each other so I call it good. Ka-chan, Chels and I went to get makeup at Bartells following Sophia's house and had an interesting time deciding whether I said 'peachy' or 'PG' - ah... the joke never dies.
7. Picking up my diploma the day after graduation and talking to Madame for the last time - she gave me a book and it was a nice goodbye. I didn't get to see Goldstein, yet I know our paths will cross again. All is well; I can leave Interlake in peace.
8. Separation anxiety when Heathy left - that same day, everyone traveled to Eastern Washington except me and I went to my bookbinding class all depressed... it just felt like the summer would be empty without her and without constant motion. Though it took me a few days, I did raise myself out of that slump. People make me happy, you know?
9. Hanging out with Sophia and Amanda in Seattle. Amanda got her first Dick's burger (another addict has been created!) on Broadway and we went to Bailey/Coy Books and all over Broadway. Then we went to Volunteer Park and there was a random crane in a tree! It was totally awesome and it flew down and we chased it with cameras (and I hung up on Kita out of excitement to go follow it... ehe...) Overall, it was a really relaxing day and a nice goodbye celebration for 'Manda since she left for China on July 4th (and Sophia leaves for Vietnam on Wednesday!).
10. Hearing from Charlotte. In Rome. She called me and we talked a bunch of girl talk and figure out our lives... the phone cut out just as we were getting to the recent news of Michael Jackson's death (I am really sad about that actually... I didn't realize how sad I would be until I started hearing his songs again and realized that there would be no more King of Pop. Along with the other celebrity deaths last week, that was definitely the worst moment...) The next time Charlotte and I contacted was on Facebook with messages - she's moving to Israel! It was a quick decision because of some problems with Seattle and UW and all that good stuff, but I think the move will do her good and give her an exciting lifestyle (and me an excuse to go to the Middle East - yes!) She's the real light in my sky sometimes; she inspires me and helps me out with my problems at the same time. Love.
11. Having Ka-chan come back from California! Everyone had left, and then they returned. She had a great time from what I can tell, everything was exciting and interesting while things here were pretty chill as well [albeit, a lot of problems did arise with the relationship] When she came back, we hung out hardcore with Molly in Seattle, traveling once again to Broadway and sorting out our problems with retail therapy and talk. I bought a gold scarf from Red Light and need to learn how to wear it with flare, so to speak. Haha. I stayed over at Molly's place and watched Bridget Jones' Diary as she napped, then we went out for late night food in Beacon Hill and heard about crazy ladies crying "SATAN!" across the street... ah, Seattle.
12. Spending time with Sophia in her final days before leaving for Vietnam - she, Josh and I watched Public Enemies last night and it was really interesting (crazy confusing at times, but since I was reading Gunsmith Cats and have always been sort of a shooter fan, it was a lot of fun) We went into Barnes and Noble and now I totally want to buy Bonk by Mary Roach so I can learn about the neuroscience of sex - did I mention that I've been enticed almost entirely to the nonfiction section lately? It's so weird... Oh, and shrimp pizza is awesome. One of those things that you don't appreciate till you try it. Trading clothes with Sophia at her house and finding really cute tops to steal - ahaha. I got my first pair of leggings from her and I think they're pretty awesome; not yet sure how comfortable I'll feel walking around in them.
13. And that brings us to the final! The lucky 13! Or maybe unlucky, I don't know... But, other than all the actions that are going on right now in my life, there are some interesting intentions going on as well. As I type, I am hoping that my dad will let me go on vacation with Josh to the Grand Canyon (yes, he's actually considering it! I'm overjoyed). So here's to knocking on wood, making wishes on your birthday time, and crossing fingers because tomorrow will determine the fates.

And... that's what's going on! Whew... that was a lot. One of the first things that I didn't mention was that I saw Ka-chan graduate the Friday before I did; it was amazing and her speech was inspiring (she didn't stutter once and, even though we didn't work on our speeches together, our themes were pretty similar) I saw Chels for the first time in months too! And Waymon and I randomly traveled to Snoqualmie Falls! We've been hanging out a lot more together out of total and utter boredom... Oh! And I got my IB Diploma - yesterday actually - which is rad. I get my credits and am going to college with them! TAKE THAT!

Photographic Adventures: The Week of Heathy

I believe that all of these were taken on the walk between Idylwood and Marymoor. Yay!

Check out some more posts featuring my photography.

Memoirian Highlights: The Week of Heathy

The week of Heathy was filled with waffles, speaking at the same time, bad food eating (which ended, literally and actually, the day that she left), hanging out with the menfolk and laughing until we cried (and no, I'm not joking). It was pretty good and mildly annoying at the same time - since we're such silly people, sometimes it seemed like we were more explosive together than life really warranted, but that was also a bit of the fun. Overall, I was sad to see her go, and hope to see Heathy again when she actually moves up here in August. Cat face!!

- Ah... tea. It brings us our very favorite memories - exploring the rich flavors and intercontinental merits of one tea over another, basically growing into minor tea snobs as we debate the merits of loose leaf over bagged... but then, I took Heathy to my favorite little tea shop in RTC and this tea-ful beauty changed.
It started as a friendly encounter with a tea merchant - and ended with the guy giving Heathy his phone number and a lot of free tea. Apparently he thought she was cute and, just as in niche manga everywhere, totally hit on her without her even realizing it. Now, whenever we discuss tea, we have to avoid the Tea Guy - code for the 30-something that totally freaked us out, even though he seemed like an upstanding guy. Though I suppose it was a single incident, it definitely makes me wonder about unwanted male attention...
- Heathy and I had our ups and downs this week; there were some moments when things became trying because our personalities clash when we live together. I think it's because we have such different routines. Though we laugh together and have a lot of fun talking about things, I don't think we're very similar in our lifestyles. I am quick to get ready, she takes a long time... she gets sad, I get angry... things like that. Although there were some issues faced that way, I think it's just good to note that being best friends doesn't mean that the pressure isn't on when you live together. That is the same principle that kind of takes apart couples that live together for their first year - things just aren't the same when you see every little detail of their lives.
- Going to the sushi place with Josh and Heathy wasn't terrifying, but it did make me feel somewhat bad that I didn't like the food... I tried some things that I liked, but I found that most of it was still not something I'd prefer to eat. Ah well, here's for the trying.
- We went shopping and chatting, like true girls, that week. I bought some cute brown shoes (which, sadly, are slightly too big for me so sometimes my feet slip out) from Plato's Closet and we went hunting for a bathroom cup that Heathy's dad [apparently] collects. We settled on a mug and chocolate and a Japanese toy for Will (who she was talking about during the entire vacation - I guess I can understand the separation thing for couples, it's hard).
But my favorite memory of the week with Heathy was definitely going for a walk from Idylwood to Marymoor. Despite the fact that Heathy had blisters and I was wearing a somewhat sexy top and got honked at, we decided to take a walk and read/talk/photograph/write. It was very relaxing to just walk and talk about life. We took photographs of the natural life of Washington and I really appreciated just being able to live here - it is beautiful, you know? Then, when we got to Marymoor, we stepped on the rock stones to soothe our feet and had an interesting experience with "pleasure" and the foot. Whee, randomness!

Photographic Adventures: Interlake Graduation '09

All photographs courtesy of Heather H. Thanks!

Just me, looking like a weirdo and scaring people around me again...

Check out some more posts featuring my photography and guest photographs.