Happy New Year!

So, it's time to make resolutions and figure out what I'm going to do with my life for the next year! [after returning from the little schindig with Ka-chan, Sophia and the guys].
Photojojo said something really interesting/applicable that I think I am going to inherit. They say that you should focus on ONE resolution - and make it fun! I don't know if my focus is really 'fun' but I am going to choose the first one off my "prototype" list for resolutions as the one I follow most closely. Here it goes.

1. STOP EATING CRAP
There are many reasons for this: one, I don't like eating crap; two, it hurts my stomach to eat so much; and three, it just doesn't help me in my road to healthy living. Therefore, it's time to give it up. No more fast food and lots of lima beans from home for snacks - yippee!
2. Update blog more often
I think that it's good to communicate from the world, and from what Gala Darling puts up, it can be both inspiring and fun. I think that I am going to use my blog as a fashion diary; taking a picture per day of the outfit I am sporting [even the ones of me just in a t-shirt and sweat pants] and deciding whether they are worthy to put up. There are another bunch of ways to involve myself; probably craft project agendas and other things. I think I just need to write about, well, me more. Call it conceited, but I prefer to think of it as 'personal interest.'
3. Finish college blanket before college
This is seriously a no-brainer. It would just be sooo lame to finish it late considering I have half of it done already. Seriously, no duh.
4. Complete Davidson Fellows
It is an insanely difficult process, but I think I will emerge a better writer because of it. Regardless of the money, this challenge will let me write a cohesive portfolio and re-troll The Big Picture 2008 photographs for beauty and greatness. Good luck to me!
5. Produce Speak
This is vastly for me, my pet project. But I think also that the community benefits from these sorts of things. Talking about issues, approaching them in a new way, working our butts off to produce a play that the entire school is involved in [not just the students!] It will be an amazing ride and I won't let anything get in my way.

And thus, my resolutions are set. These aren't really 'resolutions' so much as goals, because I have a clear plan or am in the process of making a clear plan for all of them. There was only one prototype that I took off the list - to exercise more. I think that it will just flop because I always fail that one. I would like to concentrate on what I can do starting today rather than something I'll regret. The others I am going to toy with are: no swearing, use up all magazines/college mail in crafts and projects, make a zine to commemorate high school, keep up with all friends through the mail, learn to sew, watch more movies; less TV, and knit a well-fitting gorgeous sweater.
The theme of this year is to turn over a new leaf, and I am going to sell most of my wardrobe tomorrow and buy some new clothes to baptize this ideal. Hooray! Other than that, college occurs in this year, graduation occurs in this year, working for myself starts this year, and general mayhem and chaos returns in force this year! Let's enjoy it!
Oh, and in case you were wondering, here's the January 1st picture of my outfit - an orange dress I bought in NYC belted with a black shiny thing. The quality might not be too great, but I was experimenting with ISO speeds, flash, and looking down on a subject [hooray new perspectives!] Enjoy.

Check out some more posts featuring my photography.
You can see even more at my DeviantArt.

Expelliarmus (And Other Weird Spells We Still Remember)

I may be crazy, but I guess some things happen for a reason.
Yesterday was a medley of celebration and fear as we sashayed about town to commemorate the sun's awakening, our upcoming Hare Hare Yukai performance, and some general life demands. Instead of working hard, I flounced about and tried to have some fun for once. Today was the same, except with a bit more work and a little more personal benefit. Walk for Aidan was quite awesome, and then I went to the trainer and hauled ass (literally, we worked on glutes today) as beginning my exercise/dietary goals. Then afterward I dozed and felt horrible for a few hours and finally decided to go to The Hairy Baby and loved to watch the strangeness and the common themes that flitted through a surrealistic setting [also, I love Monster - he sculpts busts! (again, literally)]
Now I'm sitting at home thinking that I should be able to devote 2 hours to myself every day. One for general exercise and well-being, the other for writing and creative thought. Just because... I think I've let my life go to other people or other commitments too much [I would say lately, but it's really been all year] And so I'm going to start working on myself again, because (as my trainer would say) I've 'fallen off the wagon' in terms of appreciating the fact that I'm an 'artist' and a human being. I'm going to have to push to the end of the year in some things, but I can't believe how much time I spend sitting around thinking to do something and then either being too scared or too stressed to do it. It's something I really need to get rid of - hesitation.
And thus, with that effervescent glow about me, I'm going to retire to my bed. Goodnight.

Sheryl Crow - Good is Good

He deserves her.
He deserves anything to make him happy. I really want him to be happy.
I use the general 'he' here because there are a few menfolk who need to be happy again. I won't name them, but really - sometimes there is no substitution for someone to nurse your thoughts with, to heal your wounds.
I don't know why I'm getting all sentimental right now, but probably because it's late and I'm talking to Kita about the world and the recent plot of my life has been so driven towards gratification in some way. I need to stop thinking of it that way, but it will take all of my willpower to do so. I'm going to start on my health plans and I'm going to learn to cook and I'm going to fall in love and I'm going to read. I'm going to learn and breathe and take steps forward - baby steps, but steps nonetheless.
I am going to give up my happiness.
I have been so content lately, it just seems that I should be doing something with it. I know that right now is exam month and everything is supposed to be selfishly focused, but I feel maybe I should at least write in a selfless way to buoy up those thoughts. To hold on to something I really believe in amidst all the complaining and problems of these petty little pieces of paper called 'tests.'
She deserves him. And he deserves her. They deserve happiness. And I wish there was some way to give it.

Story of My Life...

So, hopefully, I can bring up my health quotient by starting to go with a personal trainer (which my dad has so kindly decided to allow me to take instead of him). I feel kind of horrid that I wasn't getting any better with tennis or on my own, but I think that's because I'm not eating well either. It's somewhat de-motivating to look down at the scale and see that you're ten pounds heavier, even though you've been working out and whatnot.
I think I'll start tracking calories like Heathy said, and then also go with the 1 hour workout every day in order to keep up with fitness. If I do that, I would like to get down under 130 pounds, because that is my 'ideal weight' or so they say. I would really like to build arm strength and stamina and perhaps some tennis skills, but right now general fitness is my goal.
Gah. Sorry. I just needed to write that down because I got really unhappy with myself when I figured this out. I thought I was 140, but it's been so long since I've weighed me that I am now 150. Grr... Other than that, I feel quite fine.
I've decided that I will be doing a lot of things, and most of them are brain-oriented. That's the problem. I want to be well-rounded, but that 'rounding' includes fitness and the idea of self-worth. I'm starting to feel good about myself, and I'm starting to really find who I am, but at the same time that's still a start. I need to be disciplined to get anywhere from it. And, since I am quite the willful child, I guess I have to do things on my own. So...
Coming Soon:
J With A Workout Schedule
J Writing in Action
J Being Socially Sound