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Today, when I came home, I realized... summer is going to be boring. I'll be in obvious anticipation of my entrance into college, but in the meantime, I definitely cannot just sit around and do nothing. I will honestly annoy myself to death with that - worst case scenario is actually the seasonal depression I feel during summer will return. And I don't want that!

So, instead, I must think of projects to do during the summer. The obvious ones are listed below:
- Beautifying J
- Reduce It (minimizing the amount of stuff I have around the house)
- Memory Collages (via digital photograph and real paper)
- Read (all the books on the shelf? done)
- College Blanket (less than 9 squares to go!)

But, aside from those, I need some creative ideas that might get me up and doing again! Let us brainstorm...
- NaNoWriMo (editing or start your version of the month with short stories)
- Learn to Cook (simple not baked goods stuff, something I've wanted to do forever)
- Craft Closet Bonanza (use all the stuff in there for something)

...I just ran out of ideas. Please help me!

Want to know how I broke out of boredom? Check out my DIY Interlude and Project x Project series to see the creative ways I eradicated the monotony.
Check out some more posts featuring my photography.

Cake-ish

Elissa came over to my house today and we baked a cake for the French party tomorrow (we took pictures before it's eventual demolition - it's supposedly a buche de Noel, mais il n'est pas tout parfait...de rien!)

Apart from that, today was spent mainly working on projects and watching boys yell at a television screen. Oh! And also listening to/watching a DUI Drill done by the Bellevue Fire Department. It was actually quite well orchestrated, with student actors who simulated a car crash and some very impressive speakers - though this was not the intended effect, it really made me want to write.
Personally, for myself, I will never drink, and I will definitely be the 'designated driver' should that be called for. But I definitely encourage these presentations and believe that it's really important to understand the consequences (on a side note, the one thing that got me really agitated was the screaming... for some reason I just can't take that).

In other news... I kind of started getting scared about college last night.
I stayed up for an hour, just sitting in my bed and completely freaking out about the future; I thought about how much I would miss my home and my parents and my boyfriend and... gah! I just forgot all the things that makes college great - like new friends, pre-college kids, the City, and amazing classes/clubs/sports. I was about to call someone and talk to them (in the middle of the night, I know), but then I realized. It's going to happen regardless.
So, I decided, it's useless to worry about the future because we can only affect the here and now. I breathed in all the positives I just listed about college and tried to breathe out all the negativity about change... Just breathing helped me calm down. I thought about how hard the separation will be, but, again, I realized that I can just call (or text or email) and those people will be there - it's been that way since I was little, why would it be any different? Besides, I finally remembered that I will be doing a lot of actual work in college, not just lazing around and missing people (surprise, surprise!).
I don't think this feeling is uncommon - in fact, I think it's way too common, and that's why I was shocked when I felt claustrophobic and scared. I was truly scared. But now, I just have to keep thinking one day at a time; we think too much in the future and do not focus so much on the now. Today is a miracle, tomorrow will be great, and the next day... well, I will make great. That is all I have to say.

I am grateful for...
Small signs of affection. Sometimes a little goes a long way, hehe.

Check out some more posts featuring my photography.

Memoirian Highlights: Prom!!

If you wondered why I was away for the entire weekend, just look at the title bar.
This weekend was supremely exciting! Exciting and exhausting and semi-sickening... guh. But now, all fun is completed and the work has returned. So, in one last ditch effort to procrastinate, here comes my Memoirian Highlight of prom:

Buyer's remorse and sweet-smelling soap drenched me the Friday before prom; I had attempted to ready myself for a girly care weekend but, instead, mistakenly bought expensive products with reckless teenage abandon. To make matters worse, a new Sidekick had arrived in the mail, only adding to my horrendous dilettante nature...
As I fell into a deep consumerism-based depression (shedding tears and making promises), I was reassured from all directions that I need only understand that money is to be used and we can clench and move on. So, I breathed in a water-laden sigh and dozed off to sleep with the feeling of worthlessness still pounding into my chest.
***
Showering the next morning reinvigorated my sensibilities - hey, it isn't the end of the world, I declared. Smelling of warm vanilla rose and aloe vera, I plodded out of the bathroom in a pair of basketball shorts and sleeping shirt, ready to face a hair appointment and every horrifying makeup calamity I could imagine ("no, that's not burning your eyes, it's SUPPOSED to do that!"). Phoneless (because we were just learning how to use the Sidekick and my father had to proffer it, like a bewildered child, to the technicians at the T-Mobile store...), I trundled along old Redmond roads to Hairmasters for Raymond's trim job.
Halfway through the haircut, I decided curls were much better, and I was subsequently turned into the sexy hair beast with a little gel and a blowdryer. Hopping from the chair, I realized that I was quite late and hurried to call Natanya - only then did I find that she didn't know the time to meet. Calamitous from the get-go, this day would prove to be one of missed appointments and harried souls. Time to saddle up for the ride.
Fortunately, Abby needed about 30 minutes anyway, so when Natanya and I finally barreled into her house, we were completely ready for the makeup. While we were poked and primped, asked for dress colors and jewelry choices, scoured for makeup knowledge and nail polish use, Abby and her mom kindly instructed us on the motion of what average teenage girls apparently know by instinct - I must admit, I was bewildered. My makeup came out silvery and mercifully not too thick (it also came late; we were already running late when we received a phone call from 'Manda that she was IN SEATTLE and not going to make it to lunch on time - whoopsies) while Natanya's was a little too much for her liking. After making some more hassled phone calls, I took a deep breath and decided not to be flustered. The day would play out as it would - nothing to worry about. Regardless, I sped home, tossed some things into a bag, and hurriedly plopped into my dress. No time to waste!
Josh, who had been "cooking in his car" outside, came in to pick me up and then (after quick 'hi's' and 'bye's' to my parents) we rushed off to Maggiano's for a little Italian lunch that no one was completely ready for - eating that early and then preparing to eat again was a challenge. However, when we arrived first, there were few people sitting around, and henceforward we were immediately seated. I munched on bread like a small rat villain until others arrived (Natanya and her date were also late, but not so late as Amanda and Justin - we shake our heads at them). When the food was finally brought, my half-size of fettucine alfredo and creamy potato chicken soup proved to be too much for me, and Josh had to finish off the second half. They were all excellent (and reasonably priced), however!
Through with the lunch and the speaking of attractive upper lips (Justin...) and Epik High (Amanda) and general laughter at the new guest from Liberty (Jacob), we left the restaurant to go our separate ways; Josh and I returned to my house for a pickup of scents and movies, then ventured to gather Kita and Mr. Waymon from the house down the street. They looked sharp; Waymon sporting pinstripes and Kita in his straight black tux. Josh and I looked quite sweet in our matching teal colors, and my silver makeup and nails (now not so bumpy after endless repainting moments) looked less out of place with a teal dress than a yellow t-shirt.
There was no time to lose as we climbed back into Josh's VW Jetta and sped off to Bree's house - paparazzi met us both at the door and once the rest of the group showed up. We were casually early, but others came just as the limo pulled up and we were literally steaming in our formal attire. The unusual amount of sun in Washington was promising - at least for the girls in dresses. The guys did not fair so well... All said and done, however, we were ready as the car pulled up to take us and our South American driver opened the door to a new experience. My first limo ride!
For most of the ride, I didn't even feel as if we were driving. We caroused in the back - Bree, Jacob, Natanya, Andi, Kelsey, Nicole, Josh, Kita, Waymon, and I - and played with the cups and drank the communal water... It was a fun ride down to the Botanical Gardens, where we were to get our pictures done. Once there, however, I must admit that there was some tension in finding the photographers. No one knew how to describe where they were, so, as if we were on an unnecessary manhunt through the jungles of flora, people lost patience and began to whine. Luckily, we found 'Manda, Justin, Ka-chan and the rest of their group relatively shortly, and the photography ensued! The bright glaring sunlight made our pictures more dramatic but also more squinty... oh well, our shining group was once again photographed from every angle (as well as Josh and I, and finally myself alone). Following this quick meet-and-greet, we barely saw Ka-chan at all for the rest of the night. Our group was lost in their own individualized party, and, as we clambered back into the limosine, we were ready to set the rest of the night ablaze.
The driver, who had been sleeping in the back at the Gardens, promptly took us to Bree's cousins' Seattle apartment - and proved he was a ninja in disguise along the way. The tragedy of failed air conditioning on one of the rare days of Washington heat had startled us to the point of asking the driver to fix it. So, without any of us noticing, he pulled into the divider on the freeway, ran back, and fixed the controls! We were completely taken by surprise, a few girls even yelling out that he had abandoned the car. We laughed the rest of the way into Seattle.
Once at the apartment, another frustration turned into peals of laughter. At the door, we were to be buzzed up by Bree's mysterious cousins. Yet the door, at first, would not open. So, finally, Josh pulled hard on the door, yelling at it to open - and it flung open with a crash! Laughing, we sprawled into the hallway and then into the elevator. Just as we thought we were safe, Bree told us. She didn't know the condo number. She thought what they had said was 410, so we journeyed to floor 4 to look for said condo. We knocked on the door, even noting that it might already be open. A kind old lady stepped out. Seeing us all in formal attire, she asked us what the occassion was, and we, all a little stunned, asked her whether this was the correct apartment. She informed us that we were perhaps mistaken and that there were no 400 apartments - this was room 10 on floor 4. Someone behind us suggested that maybe it was FLOOR 10, and we all collectively smacked ourselves in the face. Once again, a giggling trolley of teenagers trekked back into the elevator. And then we forgot Waymon. Nicole asked, and yet he did not appear. Yet, once on the 10th floor, we found that he had been there all along! Showing off his opportunistic chaps, he had taken an earlier elevator than the rest of the group. Needless to say, our raucous guffaws must have made quite the impression on Bree's cousins...
They're awesome apartment, overlooking the whole of Seattle, was stunning from the onset. We ate amazing chicken (which I mistaked for turkey, as is per my idiocy sometimes) and watched the sun set over the city... When tired, we sprawled out over the couch as Bree snapped photos (and consequently caused that cute picture above - thanks, Bree!) It seemed like the day was done, yet the night was just about to begin. Once again, our group was pictured and prodded, and we finally left the condo to cruise the city for about 20 more minutes before finally heading to the big event: prom.
Prom at the Space Needle was pretty amazing; the views were great, the desserts were delicious, and the circular nature of the dance hall was enigmatic and exciting. Unfortunately, it didn't feel like a dance.
Half the senior class showed up way later than expected, and by then the groove had been taken out of our little clan. I didn't even dance with Josh once (though we exchanged snide remarks about it) and we were all looking for people that hadn't shown up yet. We were interested to see Ms. Corso, O'Byrne in formal attire, Goldstein, and other various teachers, but that really didn't set the mood for dancing. So, instead, we hung around the observation deck and later mosied on down to Seattle Center for what I consider the best part of prom night - rides!!
I was a little tiffed that we weren't going to experience our last dance (literally and figuratively) in full, but it definitely wasn't going the way I had expected anyway. So, as it grew later, we headed down to Seattle Center and part of our group spread out to enjoy the little carnival. I didn't go on the bumper cars, but then we went down the huge inflatable slide (as we did when we were little kids) and around on the carousel, which got some awesome photographic moments. We also played Tekken (I was beat.. and sad) and tried our luck at getting stuffed animal prizes (what failures we are...) In general, once the limo returned to us, we were all tuckered out and ready to fall into a prom-induced sleep.
The limo ride back was somewhat of a blur... a lot of darkness and playing with the neon lights and etcetera. When we returned to Bree's house, there were cupcakes and other goodies to keep us awake for a few more hours, but once the movie choices got contentious and Josh had to take most people home, I began to fall asleep. The night ended shortly - and with no booze or drugs.
***
The next morning, we gathered around the last vestiges of what was a great party night. We noshed on the leftover foods (which was maybe not the best idea, in retrospect...) and played around because we had woken up 2 hours earlier than was predicted. Lighters were tripped into 6" long flames (haha, Jacob), phones were messed with, people were sat upon (once again, Jacob)... overall, the aftermath of a great evening had come and gone, and now we were all in a muddle of glittery makeup and hairspray. Overall, it was a good prom.

So, that very long entry was prom 2009 for us. Yippee! Everything worked out a lot better than when we were stressed out and planning it. Anyway, to continue with my posting tradition, here is the item I am grateful for.

I am grateful for...
Psychology textbooks. In which I can get lost, be a nerd, and actually perhaps understand our cognitive functions a little better in the real world.

Check out some more posts featuring my photography.

I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty...

Today (and yesterday), I have embarked on the Make J Pretty scheme. It's not just for prom, though that seems like the most obvious reason. No, in truth, I have just found the urge to make myself pretty for myself and my new boyfriend [Joshka, if you were wondering - see Facebook or this picture, haha]. And so, I have set off into a bevy of woman-ish things that are not so reviling as I thought. Shock and awe, shock and awe.
I got my eyebrows and upper lip done by threading today... it was crazy because the woman just used a piece of thread to rake across the skin and take up the hairs (ouch! I definitely teared up, but it was surprisingly less painful than plucking and took less time). The results were fabulous!
I also have started using the curly girl hair method, which has kept my hair from frizzing up and going out like a wild horn beast. Yay!
Tomorrow, I am going soap shopping. For good stuff this time. Yesterday, I downsized my nail polish, hair accessories, and products (to the overture of Eminem, Pitbull, Carrie Underwood, and a bunch of other singers whose names I have no use in remembering), so now it's time to look for quality over quantity. It's a mission that has sorely bested me since the time of yore. On a related note, tomorrow I have to bite the bullet and buy some makeup so that Abby can help me do it for prom. Heathy has suggested that I should go to a makeup counter if I want to learn how to do the stuff myself (which I do now... since I feel kind of rude for asking someone to help me apply makeup, I would like to learn at least the basics) and I think I will do that sometime this week or next. Ah, womanhood...
My hair will be trimmed and done by Raymond, as usual, on Saturday, but before then it is a race to shave all the other annoying hairs (legs and armpits, for those who assumed the worst).
I spoke to Kita about his opinions on whether a girl should wear makeup and smell good and all of those traditional things, and I think his answer was quite promising. You don't need (and, actually, don't want) to be too made up or anything. For me, this is a good sign. It means, first, that all men have their preferences, but that I generally don't have to spend forever trying to be anything but hygienic [showers with good soaps, regularly getting haircuts and eyebrows done, basic makeup on good occassions...] And, of course, the most important thing is to keep in shape and not look like a slob. Gym time!
I believe that it took me just a little longer to understand the girl things than other people... perhaps I was resisting out of gender-biased fear. But now, rather than being one of the guys, I kind of feel like it's cool to be the girl with the guys. Makes sense, I hope.

Anyway, the picture that I took today was of Gerald [the socktopus that I tried to make a long time ago out of scrap yarn and dreams...]. It wasn't a particularly good picture, so I used my Photoshop skill to make it slightly more acceptable. Hoorah!

I am grateful for...
The ability to communicate my feelings. Even when that's not always a positive thing, just being able to tell someone else that I am feeling this way or that really benefits me and allows compassion in.

Check out some more posts featuring my photography.

Roadblock, Slump or Senioritis?

I'll take my pick. As foretold by the ancient seniors of old, I believe that my desire to do anything has just gone down tenfold. Scratch that. My desire to do things remains the same, but my motivation surrounding said things is waning. Following the days of my intense productivity, my "normal" mode has been to just laze around and watch online videos all day, surf internet links, and maybe read. But otherwise, there seems to be little preoccupying my life. And that gets on the nerves of my boyfriend.
So, what's a girl to do to regain motivation in an ever-increasing downward slide? I don't have a direct answer to this yet, but my listing has been helping me along. Coming back to the blog now, fortunately, makes me want to pursue the photography and writing portions of my life again (also, I got Photoshop CS3, so now I can be a computer nerd again, whee!) The other major goal that should happen before summer ends is the documenting of senior year and, on a larger scale, the time I've lived in this house. Memory projects have always been something of a preference of mine, and now that I'm leaving the house in a big way, I might as well put things onto paper and downsize the stuff in my room (goodbye desktop computer and TV; I knew thee well...)
And then there are the other tinier measures that I want to put into effect. I discovered (for probably the second or third time by now...) that I really am a girl [spiritual and trying to be healthy to boot] and I want to start dressing well, changing my health habits, and just learning about all the interesting cultural and genderal intricacies that surround being a Bengali woman.
I was talking to Charlotte yesterday (and she is probably on a plane to Israel or maybe even there by now) and we agreed that college is really the place where you find yourself more than anything. After receiving my suggested course catalog and filling out a bunch of new housing and medical forms, I realized that everything I do now is personalized. I will choose my classes, where I live (hopefully the Wellness Floor!), what clubs I'm in, and what I do with my time. Though we have that freedom now, there is still 'The Arbitors: Parental Units 1 & 2' and 'Homebase' which basically restrict where I'm sleeping over and whose company I keep. Soon, that will all change...
Anyway, I really want to stop annoying both myself and my sweetheart with all my talk of boredom. I think that my lack of motivation plus the fact that everyone else has something to do has pushed me into the annoying self-conscious corner. Must... fight... darkness! So, after finishing this post, I will sally forth through the jungles of boredom with a pen and a sword and perhaps we will find the Temple of Intrigue in the wilds of my mind. Enjoy the journey, enjoy the journey.

Oh! Also, in a completely unrelated, but pretty awesome, story: I found a way to wash/style my curly hair! It's actually staying fairly manageable and in attractive little ringlets. Thank you, curly girl how-to guide to non-frizzy hair!

I am grateful for...
Odd combinations. Such as the pho and cupcake that I ate for lunch today! Yum.


Check out some more posts featuring my photography.

I'm Back...

That was so cliche that I just might kick myself. Seriously.
But, other than my lack of creative entrances, I have realized that the pent-up feeling that I have been noticing recently? Yeah, it's a result of not writing/blogging for a while. And hence, I have (unceremoniously and completely crazily) returned.
As much as all that introspection has done me good, I think that I just need a place to relegate it that's not my own head. When I can come out and say all those ideas that I want, it's just a big sigh of relief. But, before I get into the new mind-storm, here are two articles that I think are fundamentally awesome and I totally want to reference all the time now:

A Guide to Happiness via Self Forgiveness
I'm Sorry, I Don't Know, I Can't...

They are both from the wellness site Think Simple Now, and that place has just a grand wealth of great articles. Anyway, after a particularly emotionally-wracking day, I think it was perfect just to recuperate by realizing that there are some simple things that can make you feel better instead of wallowing around in it. At the end of my post, I'm going to take one of the suggestions from the first article and post one item that I am grateful for.
You know what, I don't think I'm going to recap the past whiles. I just don't want to focus on the past and I want to breathe in some of those things that I've just not been doing (under the pretext of being sick, tired, bored, and/or lonely). So, I will just enjoy my slow return. Here it goes!

I am grateful for...
The ability to walk outside into a hailstorm... in spring.


Check out some more posts featuring my photography.

Outage

I think that, this month, I am going to give myself an unconventional break from blogging. I am not feeling up to posting my life right now - I want to write it down and squirrel it away because nothing feels right to put out there. I never have the perfect, silly, stupid thing to say. So I'll wait till next month: meet me there!

In the meantime, check out some of my popular posts such as a photographic journey into the anime convention SakuraCon, an article about single-sex education, and a list some of my favorite places on the web.