Chopped

This weekend, I decided to make a drastic change...

...or two.

I have been wanting to donate my long hair and get a nose piercing for a while, but I had not had the gumption to do it. I still don't know what gave me the impetus to do it, but Saturday just felt right.

Now, before you ask, here are the answers to the two most common questions I have gotten these past few days:

1. Did the nose piercing hurt? -- Yes, but much less than my earrings. And I was lying down for it so it was a different experience, more like yoga meditation than extreme anxiety.

2. How did you feel about getting your hair cut? -- Lightheaded. In both senses of the word. I got really nervous when the hair first was being snipped off (my hands were really clenched together then!), and afterward my head just moved so easily on my neck that I felt like it was 20 pounds lighter.

I have really enjoyed this experience and feel very different, but very excited about the changes. It was, I believe, just the right time.

If you're interested, you should read my personal hair-story from two years ago.

Some Answers I Have about "Erotic Capital"

This post is in response to Rachel Hills' intriguing Tumblr post "Some Questions I Have About Erotic Capital." In this piece (a response itself to Catherine Hakim's book, funnily enough), she asks her readers several questions about ideas of beauty and body positivity. Here's a breakdown:

1. Is valuing beauty the root of the problem in body hate, or is it that we are socialized to believe we're never beautiful enough?
2. "Is it just a female thing, or do men experience it as well?"
3. "Have you managed to develop a positive approach to the way you look?"
4. "How do we stop beauty positivity from turning into beauty privilege?"

I have been struggling with these questions, mostly internally, since I started down the route of body love and self-acceptance. How do we reconcile wanting to look good with not judging people based on looks? So, when I read this post, it got my brain cells a' firin' with delicious activity. Here are my thoughts.

Wow, You Look Great! Did You Get Paler?

Summer is fast on the approach in the northern hemisphere, and though it may be a blessing to some, it can seem a curse to those who want to keep their skin as pale as possible. Today, I take a look into skin-lightening creams.

Friday Feature: Le Blog de Big Beauty

Fabuleuse, non?

Le Blog de Big Beauty

I just discovered this blog recently from another blog that I really enjoy - Already Pretty!
This blog is about a plus-sized French woman who adores fashion and is a pretty well traveled person from the looks of it! Currently, she has some pieces up about a trip to New York that I believe she is currently on, and it is great reading.
Oh, you don't say... You don't speak/read French? Never fear! The English translation is posted below the main post in French, so read on non-French speakers!
Part of the reason that I enjoy this blog is because it is interesting French reading - previously I only got practice from my classes and reading the news (never a laugh and a half, I'll tell ya), so when I found this blog I was really happy to dive into my French reading comprehension.
Anyway, it boils down to this: this is a great blog for both style-nerds and occasional French readers, it is also a great one for larger women as well as those who just want to read about awesome fashion ideas. Check it out!

Take a look at my media-rich follow-up series: Caught My Eye.

I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty...

Today (and yesterday), I have embarked on the Make J Pretty scheme. It's not just for prom, though that seems like the most obvious reason. No, in truth, I have just found the urge to make myself pretty for myself and my new boyfriend [Joshka, if you were wondering - see Facebook or this picture, haha]. And so, I have set off into a bevy of woman-ish things that are not so reviling as I thought. Shock and awe, shock and awe.
I got my eyebrows and upper lip done by threading today... it was crazy because the woman just used a piece of thread to rake across the skin and take up the hairs (ouch! I definitely teared up, but it was surprisingly less painful than plucking and took less time). The results were fabulous!
I also have started using the curly girl hair method, which has kept my hair from frizzing up and going out like a wild horn beast. Yay!
Tomorrow, I am going soap shopping. For good stuff this time. Yesterday, I downsized my nail polish, hair accessories, and products (to the overture of Eminem, Pitbull, Carrie Underwood, and a bunch of other singers whose names I have no use in remembering), so now it's time to look for quality over quantity. It's a mission that has sorely bested me since the time of yore. On a related note, tomorrow I have to bite the bullet and buy some makeup so that Abby can help me do it for prom. Heathy has suggested that I should go to a makeup counter if I want to learn how to do the stuff myself (which I do now... since I feel kind of rude for asking someone to help me apply makeup, I would like to learn at least the basics) and I think I will do that sometime this week or next. Ah, womanhood...
My hair will be trimmed and done by Raymond, as usual, on Saturday, but before then it is a race to shave all the other annoying hairs (legs and armpits, for those who assumed the worst).
I spoke to Kita about his opinions on whether a girl should wear makeup and smell good and all of those traditional things, and I think his answer was quite promising. You don't need (and, actually, don't want) to be too made up or anything. For me, this is a good sign. It means, first, that all men have their preferences, but that I generally don't have to spend forever trying to be anything but hygienic [showers with good soaps, regularly getting haircuts and eyebrows done, basic makeup on good occassions...] And, of course, the most important thing is to keep in shape and not look like a slob. Gym time!
I believe that it took me just a little longer to understand the girl things than other people... perhaps I was resisting out of gender-biased fear. But now, rather than being one of the guys, I kind of feel like it's cool to be the girl with the guys. Makes sense, I hope.

Anyway, the picture that I took today was of Gerald [the socktopus that I tried to make a long time ago out of scrap yarn and dreams...]. It wasn't a particularly good picture, so I used my Photoshop skill to make it slightly more acceptable. Hoorah!

I am grateful for...
The ability to communicate my feelings. Even when that's not always a positive thing, just being able to tell someone else that I am feeling this way or that really benefits me and allows compassion in.

Check out some more posts featuring my photography.

Self-Love

I am beautiful. And sexy. And confidant and independent and loving. And a great friend and a potential girlfriend, wife and mother. I love myself. And I need to hear it.
This week has been an absolute self-esteem crusher. We aren't even at the pinnacle point, and yet I am feeling battered and cast to the side. So I'm taking this post not to be vain, but to be real. To give myself a little attention. Because yesterday I had no time and the night before I was too tired and the day before I was sick and in pain.
Why am I so beautiful?
Take a breath. Look at all these moving parts of mine. Look at the joints that hinge forearm to upper arm, thigh to shin, head to neck... think of the skill necessary to give me this soft brown skin, these dark brown eyes, this raucous curly black hair. What art created these ten fingers and ten toes? Exhale. Let it be known that we are all amazingly beautiful for the bodies God has given us. We are so beautiful. I am so beautiful.
And I am in love with every single part of this beautiful body - the cracks of my skin, the pimples, the relative frailty, the wilds of my hair... I love it all.
I realize, and I hope everyone realizes someday, that we need these words every single day. It will save us a lot of pain and doubt in the future.

Love yourself, love yourself, love yourself.
Because sometimes it is really the only thing you've got.

Check out some more posts featuring my photography.