We Do Work Here: Healing Spaces and Our Best Selves

I have just started work at Sadie Nash for my summer job (also the place that I did my fellowship to create As[I]Am, which you should still check out!), and I have been thinking a lot about space. Not just in that dreamy way that you get when you're apartment hunting and you're thinking of all the amazing ways that you could create a space that feels like 'home' - although I am doing that too - but in the sense of all the intentional work that we have to do to create spaces that feel safe for some really tough conversations to occur.

In case folks don't know, Sadie Nash is a young women's leadership and empowerment organization that really takes to heart the idea that every young person is a leader. Right now. Not when they finish the summer program, not when they are given permission, but in their homes and communities as they are. We just simply give them the tools to enact that if they would like to.

But spaces, unlike the young leaders, are not immediately safe for those tough dialogues.

When I think about the place I work and places that I've worked in the past, it's with this idea in mind: we have to reframe a lot of conversations to make the spaces we're in - whether online or in the actual world - feel ready for people to come and be the best they can be. Through respecting others, through listening to others, we create spaces that can welcome in all that work that we have to do together. Why we don't get that in other parts of our lives?

It seems to me that the primary view of what will motivate people to be their best selves is giving them a task and telling them to shoot for it, whether those are skills or tangible accomplishments (jobs, earnings, education, awards, etc.). The other motivator is power, whether that's over another person or animal or object. Both of these things are necessary in some measure to survive and feel safe. But they can also mess up our treatment of others, create conflict and hierarchies, and just make people feel like they have to hide parts of themselves so they can 'focus on the goal' or gather more power.

Activist spaces can sometimes feel unsafe too, of course. That's where the work piece must be underlined. We do work here. We do the work of healing ourselves so that we can help heal others. A space is the just one of those ways we make this possible. In the next few weeks, I'll be writing more about healing work and how I think it plays a big part of the work I am and want to be doing - stay tuned.

Notes from the ELLA Retreat

Check out the Sadie Nash Leadership Project by clicking on the image above!

Whenever I get out of the city, I feel a mild distress - I'm missing so much! I have so much work! - but upon arriving at the ELLA fellowship retreat location (a kindly staffed but rather creepy church in White Plains), that feeling began to gradually ease back.

I had planned for disappointment about this fellowship. The decision announcement deadline had passed and I didn't get any 'yay' or 'nay,' so I sent off a shy follow-up email. It was like easing off a Band-Aid; I knew that my disappointment would heal, but I had wanted it so badly. Imagine my surprise when I received a prompt reply: they had misplaced my application! They wanted to do a phone interview! The next day. And their retreat was on Saturday, so could I make that?

Needless to say, I received the fellowship and had to race away this weekend, packing a small backpack for the night. My project - on connecting Asian American social justice activists and youth online - was added to the melange of projects on everything from surviving police brutality to resisting gentrification through public art.

But as much as I was happy and excited, I still found myself nervous cleaning our kitchen late the night before. My thoughts went on the familiar track: would I have enough time and was my project good enough and when would I finish all my homework!? I feel confident now, but would I be in a few months?

When the newly minted fellows got to our rooms in the mildly-Exorcist-reminiscent church with its tiny low-lit rooms, we approached each other very cautiously. By the end of the first day, we were bonded in worksheets and sharing the struggles that our projects hoped to address. By the next night, we were already making plans to hang out beyond that weekend. Why was I nervous again?

I love meeting down folks and learning new skills, so it's a wonder. The Band-Aid had already come off. But I also owe my regeneration at least in part to being out of the city - I could eat shepherd's pie till my stomach burst and not have to care about cleaning dishes afterward. There weren't any meetings that I had to run too after the long day was supposed to be 'done.' Although it's a cliche, the tense energy of my city life wicked itself away even after just a night away. And most excellent, my kitchen is spotless.