Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I wrote most of this post this morning [during English class, yes, I don't care if that is incriminating] so the only thing I am going to say other than that is that I must must MUST finish my personal stuff tomorrow morning - we have school, then Speak rehearsal and then an open rehearsal for A Midsummer Night's Dream and so I won't get home till probably 9pm. Wooh...
And, as well, I am kind of embarrassed to say that I haven't been able to do as much photography in the past 2 days so I have only the stuff that I took yesterday [dramatized above] and might have to use that tomorrow. It's sad, but at least I got to be photographic heavily for the two days before! Anyway, on to the post.

As I sat with my dad at the breakfast table, he trading stocks and I shooting emails out into the wild, I was reminded of the philosophy I decided to adopt a while ago: existentialism.
But in an edited way, you know? I believe in God and I believe in the works of man, but I have decided that... none of it really matters.
The world is futile, effort as well. All has been preordained in my opinion; God is the ultimate judge.
When I was so apathetic, in the years where depression hit hardest, this gave me some purpose. Ironic, right? No purpose to make purpose.
Right now I feel I should think to that again. Breathe in, breathe out. And maybe all this stress will melt into purpose. I will make myself healthy, I will hold myself accountable.
After all, if life has no purpose, why not make the best of it?

Check out some more posts featuring my photography.