Week in Retrospect

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Whoosh! The second week of classes really does give you a headspin. It's not that I had any more work than last week, but my involvement has certainly gone up. We went out looking for jobs, I tried to figure out how to get into some clubs, and I got certified to use the weight room. My brain keeps telling me that we haven't been back two weeks (because that seems so short for all the things I've done) but it's already Sunday and I have the identifying factors of a pile of work (most of it done, fortunately) and a massive desire to sleep in.
Since this was one of my more typical weeks, I think that it would be more interesting to post up something that I have written, so here you go! Keep in mind, however, that this was a rant before I went to bed.

She stretched out her arms and legs - to sky and soil - prayin that the young mists would take her up, envelop her body in the natural sense, and let her decompose there, a mere speck on the span of the earth.
Pain made its way to her fingertips and she questioned whether her reality was anymore true than that of Jacob's, who, in his infinite wisdom, claimed he felt no pain because it was a construction of the human mind. Thus, when he came to her with cuts on his fingers and bruises on his neck, she turned aside and let him return to his play. She was not afraid of those big men who hustled him as long as he could stand to take it - maybe that made her a bad mother, she thought.
Out in the breeze, she felt childlike again in her apprehension of variables - the sky's outward thrust over the high rises and mountainous landscape of skyscrapers and planes, the gentle crest of trees rolling against a grey backdrop like a child's fingerpaints. She could know nothing at all, no language to speak of, and still feel her small magnitude in this world.
Alyson took a deep breath and wandered back down to earth. The sprawling park scene was eclipsed by the pressing matters of grocery and budgets. The chirping of birds pressed into the calls of taxi horns and old men yelling. She was back in the shuffle, just another crack in the wall.

My friends and I are starting a craft business so if you ever want to grab some knitted items, jewelry, paper art, and other handmade items, do look for Simplistica crafts!

More writing and stories are also available for your reading pleasure.

Momentary Pauses

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

440 pages.
That was the amount that I read in three days here. Not that I'm complaining, because it was for really enjoyable classes and I expected this semester to be harder than the last, but still! It feels like an astronomical calculation - amazingly, though I do wonder at it, I do not want to complain.

I have been slowly realizing what this year is about for me: gentle incorporation.
What does that mean? Well, for me, it means calmly and quietly bringing in some of those principles that I had previously tried to force into my life. My major examples:
- It's not about sneaking in time to do something, it's about choosing what you really want to do for that moment.
- Have a schedule, but always be willing to break it.
- Eat! Just make sure that you're taking care of yourself at the same time.
- Write and read and create and smile when you want to. Just don't force any of those things down your own throat!
- Take a few calm breaths before embarking on anything.

The difference between this and last year is that I'm realizing that if I try to impose something upon myself (like, write 500 words a day or something) it's not the route that gets anything done. I guess I had read those articles about 'habit-forming' and such but taken them too closely to heart. When I came stumbled upon 2010, I had an enlightenment - what if we were easy on ourselves?
It makes me happy to note that I have a lot of stuff that I want to do and will make time to do it. In my slower moments, I hope that I can continue to do it; the future is not going to be nearly as busy as this (unless I have something to do with it!) and so I need to start self-motivating in a way that doesn't drain me of my senses.
Anyway, this is a momentary pause in between the ledgers of different classes, assignments and understandings. So now I must fly!

The New Semester

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I have returned!
I guess this means that my occasional writing must be changed into the more regular and typical writing that expresses the college lifestyle in all it's glory and triumph... blah, blah, blah.
After spending my month-long winter break in a perpetual sense of dread towards blogging and the undeniable march of time meted out by both failures and the offhanded victory, I have been coaxed once again out of my shell to start blogging. But in a more casual sense, I believe.
I had made all these beautiful plans to start up the 365 project again or work towards a better and more consistent blog posting time, but I think that the only resolution that I can really hold myself to is to write a short something every week and make some ideas happen on the page. So... here is the collection for this week.
The transition from break to semester two of my college experience was a doozy. I had gone through my typical yearning to be busy and bustling, but had also stumbled into the idea of doing these things on my own time. In a sense, I was much lazier than I had been before. I would create, but then do nothing for days on end. Then I would watch TV or hang around. This was not a bad thing for the time of course, but only a poor precursor for my inevitable return to a flash-bang New York City college experience. I was not prepared.
When I came back, I found that I had four book-heavy classes, an audition that I had totally forgot about, and many little administrative details that needed finishing. I was in a haze from the jetlag that I wished hadn't come and the remote bout of homesickness and desire to be back in my bed or with my boyfriend. But, as I entered through the portal of the dorms and crashed down onto the bedding that had been provided for me, I immediately felt comforted in the fact that this was not, as I had feared, completely foreign to me. I persevered through the next day by buying some simple items with a few friends, getting myself back on track logistically and figuring out the cost of books... the last one was not so pretty.
Though I fell in love with my classes this semester, the book load is immense (34 books in total bought) and I keep having a headache trying to think of myself on that schedule. Amazing classes, heavy reading. No problem! My new moniker is to schedule myself in such a way that things get done without loss of my sanity. We'll see how it goes.
To sum up the first few days back at college, I have felt like there are so many things that I didn't get to do during the break, and yet I don't regret that. I feel like I have a more concrete plan here than there, so that's probably why that happened in the first place. My lack of impetus created a vortex that I could not emerge from. Therefore, this semester I will begin anew rather than wallow in the pit of despair - as I was wont to when no one was looking in the back corners of my house.
Here it is not all glitz and glamor, but I am going along for the ride.