Showing posts with label dalai lama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dalai lama. Show all posts

Do

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


In all the days of my stringent Goal of the Month to write 250 words per day, yesterday was my failing. I simply completely totally forgot about it all. So, instead of panicking and jettisoning the entire thing, I am resolved to write 500 words today. Aha!
As it stands, I think I am going to wait until 2nd semester to start any new workout program. I am having a lot of trouble with doing it in the morning because I have never been one of those 'happy risers' and I usually have a ton of other stuff to do during this time anyway. The other thing I need to make sure of is that I'm going to bed at 9pm and waking up at 5am. I have been going to bed 10 minutes late and waking up ten minutes late for the last few days and I just don't like it.
In general, plan revision is a lot easier for me these days. I used to just cancel everything I was doing or let it fade away if I was finding it difficult - now I actually feel pretty guilty or angry if I don't do things. But that's another story.
I've started reading another book [I used to read like 3 books at a time and I think that I can get back into that] called Brain Rules. Since I am a nerd at heart, I am reading introductory psychology texts - not classroom level but just 'interested' level on basic brain functions. It's fascinating! I miss reading a lot... I read National Geographic yesterday and started the other two books the day before. Soon I will be able to read again - very soon.
Anyway, I guess my credo is still the same as when the Dalai Lama said at his Seeds of Compassion festival in Seattle - "whatever you choose to do, be serious."

Check out some more posts featuring my photography.

Busy-ness As Usual

Saturday, June 7, 2008

So many things happened Friday it was astounding. o_o
I haven't been this busy in a while, so it was refreshing to have that feeling of harried-ness this week. Well, maybe not 'refreshing' but it seemed more normal than my days of sitting around and having a prescribed schedule of nothing.
This week was the week of Interlake Live (our school's talent show), so we were practicing constantly throughout; I made cookies on both Wednesday and Thursday [for anime club to have a party - which was not really a party considering that all the anime club members were preparing for the talent show...] and then for the group to eat before we performed. Yes, I admit it, I am a baked goods enabler. But I also worked out extra much this week, so I feel as if I deserve it *is probably in denial*
Anyway, on top of this we were starting the after school practices for our drama performance next week [where I get to play a rape victim who is being interrogated by her defense attorney...] and there was a French movie called Un Secret, which was another war movie from SIFF that Madame got us in for free (though they were about different wars, both films that Madame chose were about children and conflict... strange.) I also approved my seat for a French trip next year, so we are going to have a great mid-winter break! But those were all leading up to Friday.

Friday: A Zoo of Crazy Experiences
1. The newspapers came in that morning; however, the publisher didn't put the center sheets inside the outside sheets so we were scrambling to do it ourselves and got through it halfway through first period (fortunately, my teacher was giving a free period since we finished our essays so I only missed Hungry Hungry Hippo)
2. There was a Darfur presentation during both my 3rd and 7th periods. Though I saw it twice, the information was really scary both times. I saw familiar faces of leaders from the Dalai Lama conference [Ingrid Mattson and Desmond Tutu] on the video, and it was explaining how all groups must come together to stop genocide. We got pages on how to help, but sometimes I just feel that we are insignificant in the face of Chinese oil interests and other global factors. Also, I feel that some people don't appreciate these things enough to care about people outside of their own immediate area. *sigh*
3. On a completely contrary note, that day was the awards assembly of the year. Right after getting out of class, we headed to the gym where the jazz band was rockin' out and the seniors were cheering their way out of high school. All of a sudden, my name is called and I receive the Harvard Book Award o_o Totally unexpected! The first principal of Interlake, an aging man in formal attire, presented me the award [I felt so silly afterwards because I had dressed up in my SakuraCon schoolgirl outfit and floppy hat to advertise Interlake Live that day :P] However (though I hate to be grain-of-salt) they spelled my name as 'Alan' and not 'Alam.' Some people will never change.
4. We got our yearbooks in a mad rush after school and I got to push through the crowds and say 'Hey, I'm a big woman and I need to get through!' Haha.
5. Brittany (I hope that's how you spell her name...) came out of the past to visit Molly and she was touting a nearly-one-year-old baby with her. He was so cute! We went looking for Molly, but didn't find her. At least it was nice to see someone still around after all those changes.
6. Interlake Live practice! From 3:20-7pm. We stayed at school the entire time and I gave cookies and had JamJam deliver me macaroni and cheese. ^_^ We were moved from the upper gym to the classic commons area by another group of performers, but it was all good because then we went to rehearsal and threw a mini party/yearbook signing. After a while we had some conflict with whether performers could sit in the audience (we got to after paying, stupid jerks making us run around and ask fifty people -_-)
7. Interlake Live! Kita got to come and watch Math and I do some crazy cool things [he was playing the piano while I danced Hare Hare Yukai - not both at once] My parents were there too, which was awkward during some acts... people sometimes think that they can just do the most illegal dances up on stage and it'll be ok. *shakes head* Most of the dancers were good, but one girl... Oh well, to each their own. I loved basically every singing person, because I didn't know that they could sing that well until this moment o_o All in all, our performance seemed really short once we got up there, and afterwards we all got to go out and scream to relieve tension. It was awesome.
Finally, at the end of the night, they addressed the fact that Ivan [one of our students] was murdered and that the event was to support his family through. I am glad to have given money to them, and to help out with their cause, because it's really sad to hear the crazy immigrant story and have it be cut down. People in that difficult situation do not just 'mess up' on their own.

Overall, Friday was a crazy day and there were a lot of things going on that even I cannot list all of them [although I have tried to the best of my ability - hence the length of this post]. But, as much as I love being able to do stuff at school and whatnot, I still am thinking towards the future.
Perhaps more valuable than the Harvard Book, Goldstein gave me a Native's Guide to New York with some places marked in it that she thinks I should visit. In my head and in my heart, I really want to get out of here so I can go experience some new people and new things. Maybe, after that, I can come back and be alive again and rejuvenate the school with my industrial-strength luster. But for now, I feel like the seniors as they yell their last goodbyes.
Just a week and a half to go!

Destination Mentality: The Debunking

Thursday, April 17, 2008

"Life is a journey."
This quote was brought up in the youth spirituality conference with the Dalai Lama, and it was one of those quotes that just stuck in my head. Maybe because it's so simple. Maybe because everyone says it. Or maybe because the speaker, right after it said, "if you start to change that destination mentality, then it's a completely different way of living."
Though it may not seem to be the time or the place, and I might not seem to be the age or the 'maturity' level, I believe that we should always improve ourselves in some way. It's a concept that just keeps rattling around in my brain - and desperately calls me for action. I have decided to debunk my destination mentality [as momentous a task as that is] by finding the small steps to work towards it.
I know that puts up a 'goal' system, which seems contradictory to my purpose, but I also know that for this moment I am definitely a destination believer, and I can't just jettison that all at once. Hopefully, by embarking on many small journeys, I will be able to construct something that is relatively called 'change' (or at least passes for change).
One large thing that I am finding: I am afraid.
Sometimes that's a good healthy fear, but a lot of the time they are fears that people have put on me or fears that I have constructed just because of low confidence or social freezing or something momentous like that (and sometimes it's just plain stupid stuff that really bothers me because I know that I can get rid of it!)
I was afraid, for the longest time, that I would not become a true believer in my religion because I thought I would second-guess the stories and truths based on my upbringing.
I am still afraid to play video games because they are associated with 'doing nothing' or 'no relation to a goal' [which is so hypocritical].
I am afraid that people won't need me sometime, and that's why I take on all these extra things; I am afraid that apathy/depression will come back when people don't need me anymore.
I am afraid that none of my knitting items will ever fit right.
I am afraid that my writing will sometime be called a distant memory.
I am afraid that I am somehow unhealthy, be it my weight or my skin or [especially] the status of my vagina.
I am afraid both to admit that I must let some people and situations go, and to know that these things are going to happen in the future.
If life is to be a journey, and we are all on the ebb and flow of the world, I believe that baby steps are the way to go on these ones. These fears? I am proud of myself for at least recognizing them at this point. If I were still in middle school or if I hadn't decided to grow, I may still be stuck in an extroverted place where I wouldn't be able to know anything.
Maybe these are 'heavy subjects' for a teenager but I believe that we all have to cross paths with them sometime.

Read my follow-up to this mindset in my post about living in the moment.