(Photo credit: Bernie DeChant via ToshiReagon.com)
After the opening remarks by the conference organizer, Analisa Balares, Toshi was the first guest she brought out. As you can imagine at 9am in the morning, most of us were still groggily saying our hellos to our tablemates and talking about traffic. Little did we know about our upcoming musical debut.
The room stood slowly. There were some early adopters who had bounced up out of their seats, clapping and smiling, while there were those who remained seated for the entire time. We all still sung in somewhat timid voices, not ready to speak above the rest, not at this early juncture where we had all just come together.
I won't blame this timidity entirely on internalized sexism or the incongruity it held with the idea of "professionalism" purported by these high academic conferences. No, I believe that the restraint employed by many of the women (myself included) was simply due to the fear of stepping into a different form of leadership.